Saturday, 23 February 2019

Essay on Anger Management 1200 words

Essay on Anger Management 1200 words

Justifying one’s anger, a man said, “I lose my temper, but it’s all over in a minute,” “So is the hydrogen bomb,” replied George Sweeting. “But think of the damage it produces!” So, the best time for us to hold our tongue is the time when we feel we must say something or burst. Anger is something, which has destroyed many, as it takes away our power to think thereby goading us to take such decisions as are suicidal to us. That is why, some anonymous wise man has rightly advised that we should not promise when we are happy, should not reply when we are angry and we should not decide when we are said.

We should not forget as to how Othello killed his newly-wed wife Desdemona based on unverified untruths from lago, eventually precipitating his own ruin. So, we should try to overpower our temper tantrums, otherwise it would overpower us much to our own detriment. We should not try to get rid of bad temper by losing it. Gandhi was right when the said, ‘We should not get angry when we know that we are wrong and the other person is right. And we should definitely have to reason to get angry when we know that we are right, while the other person is outright wrong’.

It is not the individuals or situations that cause anger. It is our reactions to individuals or situations that determine our state of mind. So, we need to learn to control our anger. Whether we believe it or not, nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. And people generally quarrel because they cannot argue. Anger is, actually, a momentary madness. We should learn to control it otherwise it would control us. So, keeping our cool in adverse situation is the real test of our character. The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.

As they say, all arguments have two sides, but no ends. It doesn’t pay to say too much when we are mad enough to choke. The word that stings the deepest is the word that is never spoken. So, we should let the other fellow wrangle till the storm has blown away, then he’ll do a heap of thinking about the things we didn’t say. As Aristotle had said,’ it is really so easy to fly into a passion. Anybody can do that, but to be angry with the right person to the right extent and at the right time with the right object and in the right way—that is not easy, and it is not everyone who can do it’.

So, we should not get upset with people or situations. Both we powerless without our reactions. We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. As per a finding, 10 per cent of our life is made of what happens to us, while 90 per cent of our life is decided by the way we react to things happening to us. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10 per cent of what happens to us. But the other 90 per cent is different. We determine the other 90 per cent. How? By our reaction.

We cannot control a red light. However, we can control our reaction. We should not let people fool us. We can always control how we react. Let us use an example. You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticise her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs, you find you daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After 15-minute delay and throwing 60-dollar traffic fine away, you arrive at the school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realise you forgot your office briefcase. Your day has started on a terrible note. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with you wife and daughter. Why? This has happened because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
a. Did the coffee cause it?
b. Did your daughter cause it?
c. Did the policeman cause it?
d. Did you cause it?
The answer is ‘D’.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those five seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about it cry. You gently say, ‘it’s okay honey, you just need to be more careful next time.’ Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase and you come back down in time to look through the window and see you briefcase and you came back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.

You arrive five minutes early to cheerfully greet the staff. We can notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both had the same triggering point. Both ended different. Why? This happened because of how you reacted. We really have no control over 10 per cent of what happens in our life. However, the other 90 per cent was determined by our reaction. Now we know the 90/10 principle. If we apply it, we will be amazed at the results. We will lose nothing if we try it. Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It can change our life.

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens to us; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst; a spark that creates extraordinary results. Let’s change to make a change and we can feel the difference.

After all, it is irrational to hate all roses because we got scratched with one thorn, to give up on our dreams because one did not come true, to lose faith in prayers because one was not answered, to give up on our efforts because one of them failed, to condemn all our friends because one betrayed us, not to believe in love because someone was unfaithful or did not love us back, to throw away all our chances to be happy because we did not succeed in our first attempt. It is hoped that as we go further on our way, we don’t give in to madness.

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